Better late than never

I don't know why I never paid much attention to Shostakovich until now. But his music, introduced by the energetic Greenberg lectures/performance, speaks to me very emotionally. If I had discovered him as a young man, he would have influenced my work. No greater compliment.

So now to listen to as much as I can ...

Super ZZZZ

Can't get excited about this corporate extravaganza ... probably watch or go to a movie. Not a big Seahawks fan, not a pro football fan since a kid before players were millionaites. McElhenny said he took a salary cut turning pro ha ha. A favorite story of my dad's.

Looking forward to rooting for double digit seeds in March Madness. Women's Oregon State only team I am following. Triple Crown and women's World Cup ahead.

A problem

Disturbing number of people who believe in science ignore it: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/firedoglake/fdl/~3/YpOOTalVH6M/

Hard day

H still has a hard time doing simple tasks, getting lost or confused and frustrated: renewing a cell phone, sending a birthday card. She went to bed "to escape." If this is it, well, life will be tough.

BBC puts us to shame

PBS Newshour takes top spot for serious reporting on climate change: http://feeds.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/AWC_D2BfVk8/-PBS-Newshour-takes-top-spot-for-serious-reporting-on-climate-change

Recovery

H at Rio, I'm at nearby Starbucks, recovering from very stressful morning, various H crises, makes me want to throw in the towel and escape. Live my last years as a stranger far from here.

Ha ha ha.

Good news: I discovered Palouse brand lentils from eastern Washington. Delicious! And in a sexy burlap bag. A new staple in my diet, I think.

Pick her up at 4, rush home ahead of traffic.

Immortal books

Voltaire's Treatise On Tolerance is climbing the best seller lists in France.

Life Is A Film

Life Is A Film

sometimes my life feels like
a film studies course
and I just watched a great film
a true work of art
layered and complex and engaging
like The French Lieutenant's Woman
and I loved it

but now the professor
is explaining it
scene by scene by scene
talking on and on and on

and if he talks long enough
all this redundant
unnecessary critical gibberish
surely he will ruin the film

so I want him to shut up
I want him to shut up
I want him to shut up

so we can all go home

Greenberg on Shostakovich

Listening to a series of mesmerizing lectures with musical examples on the incredible life and work of Shostakovich.

June

Women's World Cup in Canada begins! Not sure how much I can watch without cable. I might do the Spike deal for ESPN. Or settle for radio, though soccer not a good radio sport.

But before then, March madness and the Triple Crown. Good diversions ahead.

posted from Bloggeroid

Andrew Sullivan

Sullivan is the conservative commentator I've paid most attention to over the years, one of the first political bloggers, a gay conservative who supported Obama, an intellectual.

Today he announced he is leaving blogging after 15 years. One reason: to think and write more slowly. Hear, hear! Our age has lost an appreciation for brooding and slow mental processes. I applaud him and look forward to a future book surely to come.

http://dish.andrewsullivan.com/2015/01/28/a-note-to-my-readers/

Cartoon

Cartoon: The future of climate debate: http://feeds.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/UVoO4EIoUy8/-Cartoon-The-future-of-climate-debate

Sketch

Got off a comfy couch to come stetch out on the floor at my feet - and now he's snoring. Talk about devotion...

Homebody

No doc appts today, so maybe I can catch up on a few things.

Good start, the Chronicle, shower, now baking bread.

Baking bread = tranquility!

Lots of late chores to catch up on. Would love a day without a crisis.

Youth

Youth

as a young man
naked with a woman
it never occurred to me
I was experiencing
something transitory
something remarkable
something haunting
that as an old man
I would remember
sweetly and sadly
forever regretting
that at the time
I never got around
to thanking the gods
for the passion
of my youth

Plan B

Black beans and rice from scrstch.

Sibelius! Saroyan's essay and Mozart In The Jungle both have me listening to more - and more carefully.

posted from Bloggeroid

No bbq

A chilly fog has settled in. What warm Sunday?

posted from Bloggeroid

Seahawk fans send off team

Breaking news on 2015 Super Bowl : http://www.breakingnews.com/topic/super-bowl-xlix/

posted from Bloggeroid

Present Tense

with noisy distractions
all around him
a man can spend
all the hours
of his day and night
in perpetual motion
never stopping
to reflect or consider
the meaning of
anything he does

posted from Bloggeroid

Terrible

A so-so Oregon bball team demolishing a terrible UCLA team ... no alma mater excitement on either end.

posted from Bloggeroid

Existentialism = no excuses

Accused Vanderbilt football player blames gang rape on university’s culture of ‘sexual freedom’: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheRawStory/~3/0vLiwnRN8YU/

posted from Bloggeroid

BBQ in Pdx in January???

60 outside and warmer tomorrow ... H a full day at church tomorrow with her art, maybe I'll get a bbq ready to go! Hmm.

posted from Bloggeroid

Old Flames

in my years of drinking
I had brief encounters with
a number of remarkable women

most of whom disengaged
once they realized they
could not compete with booze

and these separations caused
considerable pain and anger
an old, old story

but I have not forgotten
these women, so more evolved
than I was at the time

and I hope that somewhere
in the dark corners of memory
moments of joy and connection

emerge, not to erase pain
but to temper it with
a fuller story:

the past is neither dark nor light
experience neither wrong nor right

posted from Bloggeroid

Mornings

Mornings are my salvation, soft mellow jazz as I make myself breakfast, usually toast with scrambled eggs or oatmeal, iced coffee (deliriously tasty), reading the Chronicle, a few hours to myself before H rises late morning. Planning an activity or two if lack of a crisis permits. Baking every few days (and later today, H taking the new loaf to a dinner party with women's group).

Read Saroyan's essay Finlandia this morning, a unique voice too ignored today (like Baldwin, a very different unique voice). Crooks introduced me to Saroyan. The romantic artist personified.

Hope to pack a box or two for VA this afternoon.

Quotation of the day

"...the more places you reach the more you understand there is no geographical destination for man." --William Saroyan, "Finlandia"

The new rhythm

I am close to finding my retirement groove in this special context I am in. Ukulele studies, re-energized by the new class at UU. Love's Body blog, getting to a project I've been putting off for years, sharing a new reading of the most influential book I've ever read. Occasional blog poems, as before. And, of course, baking and cooking and less interesting chores.

H talking to doctor today in first step to get her driver's license back. I don't think she is ready - too emotionally unstable - but am staying out of it.

Doomsday

The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists just moved its Doomsday Clock 3 minutes closer to midnight. 11:58. But no one pays attention to this.

I subscribed to the journal in high school and have followed the clock all my life. I pay attention.

Waiting room 2

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Waiting room

First of two appts today, with a shrink, hope something constructive comes from it.

Rio this afternoon.

Looking forward to coffee with TS tomorrow morning, grocery store afterwards for some essentials.

A boot in the butt

Started a new 10 week, 30 video course on soloing over at Ukulele Underground, the stellar organization based in Hawaii. Best instructional videos I've seen. Not sure I can keep up but slow is better than not at all.

posted from Bloggeroid

A forgotten publisher

A look back at the US publisher imprisoned over James Joyce and gay novels: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheRawStory/~3/T6csxAlQAIw/

A post by TS nails it

http://roundbendpress.blogspot.com/2015/01/sawants-response.html

Man o man

Listening to Ramblin' Jack Elliott, a couple hours worth ... at his best, no one can touch him in his musical territory. Mind-boggling how good he is.

A rare evening

H off to hear Angela Davis at PSU with a girlfriend, giving me a rare evening alone. Grocery shopping after dropping her off, bake another loaf of bread so we have a choice (ran out, which is rare). Very busy with two appts tomorrow.

I have to get boxes ready for VA pickup next week.

Tempus fugit and all that. In pretty good spirits.

A new blog

An ambitious project I've been putting off for several years: Rereading Love's Body.

Pope v. Republicans

I can't wait until the Pope addresses Congress in the fall. I hope he takes off the gloves about climate change and our betrayal of Nature. This will put the science-denying Republicans on the spot. The Pope also could inspire grassroot protests of the Vietnam era magnitude.

Thornton Wilder marveled how humans escaped crisis after crisis "by the skin of out teeth." And we shall again ... by colonizing Mars. But meanwhile, we might still salvage a few things here on earth.

The stupidity of politicians may yet save us by being SO stupid it inspires universal outrage. I see this as the only positive scenario around at the moment. The Pope speaks to millions of common folk and has an essential role here. Will cops tear gas the Pope?

I hope we get to find out. A longshot but possible. Beats no alternatives at all.

Intensity

Baking bread, classical music, Harriet and Sketch asleep, an intense wondrous morning, counting my blessings. How very sad to belong to a younger generation. Children don't deserve what the West concocted for them.

Time to reread Brown's LOVE'S BODY, the book that explains this mess better than any I know. At the same time, as Brecht wrote, "Nothing you can do can help a dead man."

Nothing left but personal integrity, kindness and empathy, and holding onto a cosmic sense of wonder and humor for as long as possible.

Options

if it were up to me
in a few years
after my wife is back on her feet
just about the time my body's breaking down
and before the food and water riots dictate the future

I'd go to sleep one night
and not wake up
the perfect ending
to a remarkable life

but unfortunately
this gift is unlikely
and I'll be around past my time
perhaps far past my time

which will force me
to take charge of the circumstances
and select the best option for departure
all options distasteful

and the sane option unavailable
in our barbaric culture
a simple peaceful pill
taken after loving goodbyes
at my farewell wake

no, I'll have to make my exit alone
with some ugly awkward final act
for which I have no skill set
for which I have no stomach

but which is the only option
left to me to leave with
some semblance of integrity
some semblance of dignity

as Socrates knew
as Robin Williams knew

the only option left
in this crumbling City on a Hill

Doubtful

Liu: Can America handle the truth on race?
http://www.cnn.com//2015/01/18/opinion/liu-mlk-day-truth-and-reconciliation/index.html

Ambition with a good early track record

Amazon set to produce and fast-track its own slate of ‘indie’ films from theaters to video: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheRawStory/~3/Il1H7mp6gh0/