How to tell a story

How to tell a story

Wednesday, December 31, 2014



at the end of the year
with all the focus on
achievements, highlights
gains and losses
biggest stories of the year

my personal reel
of achievements, highlights
gains and losses
gets no attention
no interest anywhere

which is how it should be
or else I wouldn't be me

posted from Bloggeroid


Monarch Butterfly to be Considered for Federal Endangered Species Protection:

posted from Bloggeroid



More rehab

Opportunity for post Rio rehab at Good Sam ... 16 weeks ... first rate but need to check our copay ... hope we can afford it.

posted from Bloggeroid

A thing of beauty

Just took a gorgeous loaf of caraway rye from the oven ... terrific oven spring with my poolish. Greek olive in the hopper.

posted from Bloggeroid


Chris Hedges’ Interview with Noam Chomsky on Empire, the Liberal Class and More:

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, December 30, 2014


Both sides now

Here are some good cops who have the crappy job of protecting you in trigger-happy America:

posted from Bloggeroid

What we're going to do

Cutting the cord:

With hdtv, stream from a cloud. After a small investment, we can save a bundle.

posted from Bloggeroid

Relearning mellow

Before H's heart attack on Sept 16, I was a damn mellow fellow, having resolved my demons and enjoying old age as an observer in the theme of my mother: "people are more interesting than anybody." I greeted each morning with wonder and grinned and shook my head a lot.

Then everything changed. I became a high stressed basket case. I lost over 30 lbs in 3 months without being aware of it.

But now I am beginning to relearn my old groove. Living in Ground Hog Day doesn't tear me up. H's occasional denial doesn't engage my argument to the contrary. Our challenging finances don't keep me awake at night.

Maybe there's hope for me yet. Maybe baking bread has saved my ass.

posted from Bloggeroid

Eager to see this

Review: 'Selma' a history lesson that throbs with today (from @AP)

posted from Bloggeroid

Danish bacon and egg cake

This was my signature breakfast in grad school. Haven't made it in decades.

A variation this morning, turkey for bacon. Not too bad. I'll work on this. Like the texture.

posted from Bloggeroid

The Rules

The Rules

once you understand
you are not safe
your loved ones
are not safe

without security
without predictability
these lives we live
are a crapshoot

then when it's your turn
for devastating tragedy
you can get some comfort
from not being alone

and in the meantime
you can open your senses
to the remarkable gift
of mundane ordinary things

a walk to the mailbox
tug of war with the dog
a greeting on the street
and Nature everywhere

miracles made greater
by their very fragility
as the poet cummimgs
put it best

"the most who die
the more we live"

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, December 29, 2014


Tonight the women's unranked bball team beat #5 Tex AM by 21pts! Is this the year for NW women's basketball? Last victory over ranked team was 1997.
posted from Bloggeroid



people always ask me
how are you?
and I always reply
I'm fine or I'm okay
without thinking about it

because listen here
I spent 50 years
filling a literary archive
in response to it
I can't be expected
to provide an easy answer
the Cliffs Notes version
the Classics Comics version

so I give you
the usual routine
of cliches and half truths
which you gladly accept
and go on you way

and the world at large
doesn't care one way
or the other

posted from Bloggeroid

Interesting indeed!

Author Annie Proulx regrets writing ‘Brokeback Mountain’:

posted from Bloggeroid

Same o

Sunday, December 28, 2014



Sometimes I feel like
I'm trapped in quicksand
the very ground I stand on
dragging me down
pulling me under
it's all I can do
to remain upright

all I can do
to inch forward
one heavy step
after another
a snail's pace
from here to there
the slightest action
requiring herculean effort
brushing my teeth
wiping my ass

nothing comes easy
and yet I stay upright
keeping my balance
saved above all else
by my sense of humor
by my sense of the absurd
knowing there are many
far worse off than I

oh how worse off
I could be:
Christ, I could be a Republican!
Christ, I could be a Democrat!

Patting myself on the back

Yesterday's loaf of white bread is first rate: taste, texture, crust. I am getting some quality control and my own variation from books and practice. This amazes me a bit ... I wasn't expecting to get this good.

Go, Pope!

Pope Francis to Issue ‘Unprecedented’ Edict on Climate Change:

posted from Bloggeroid


It's a hoot to follow a game this way, short text messages play by play with a graphic placing the ball. What a great job for a home team student, typing out the play by play!
posted from Bloggeroid


3 Beavers foul out ... no Tenn player has over 3 fouls. SEC officials.

Beavers lose, coach unhappy with stripes.

OSU women played a great game.

What fun

Listening to OSU women in Tennessee, behind by 1 at half, playing great, they can win this. Go Beavers!

Cultural immorality

I grew up a Navy brat, in a military career environment. This gives me a different perspective, I think, than a lot of lefties without this experience. At the same time, my father was not a typical lifer. He once told me if he were Chinese, he'd be a communist; he'd seen the alternative as a young sailor (he lied about his age to join and escape a New Jersey mill town) sailing the China seas. After deciding to go for 30, he resigned his commission in 1948 over an incident in Guam he considered racist (it clearly was). He was anti-war: because he'd been in one.

In this context, I believe we do nothing more morally obscene than betray our veterans. It is appalling and gives us no right to claim moral authority about anything.


Eating whole wheat and Guinness loaves ... white in oven ... rye in hopper ... olive coming…half the loaf to TS.

Great sense of inner peace while baking.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, December 27, 2014

A real sleeper!

I started this out of curiosity, expecting to last maybe ten minutes. Film drama about the Beats usually piss me off with their shallow characters. But the film Howl is a success.

This dramatic film shows profound respect for the poem itself. We hear much of it, in a variety of contexts: Ginsberg's original reading; as evidence in the later obscenity trial; and, most interestingly, as backdrop to animation, where literal cartoon figures have more flesh than the cardboard Beat figures we usually see. There's also an important narrative thread of young Ginsberg being interviewed.

Aram Saroyan's extraordinary book Genesis Angels gets my vote for the best thing ever written about the Beats. This film can be in its company, as no other dramatic film I know can be. I didn't expect such a pleasant surprise.

To the movies

Into the Woods...

posted from Bloggeroid



Here's the deal:
your heart can stop
you can stop breathing
your monitors can quit

you can be put to rest
under marble
or feeding daisies

but what you can't do
is shut off my mind
from thinking about you.

Friday, December 26, 2014


Love working with this!

Sex, drugs and classical music

This Amazon series based on the book is great entertainment. About halfway through and I hope they continue it. I dig it (and find so little I like).

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Xmas dinner

A lazy at home day ... H with taste for fried chicken ... . But everything closed, even the Colonel and Freddy' s. Brainstorm! New Safeway has big kosher food section, Jews don't do Xmas ... it's open, and a zoo. Kosher fried chicken, coleslaw, deli goodies. Low key and nice.

An American Christmas Carol

A very decent adaptation.

Of course, I am partial to my own adaptation.

R.I.P. Tee Bradley

An LA friend for over 50 years died this morning. He was 83, sick for some time.

A party he hosted was the inspiration for my early short story:

Presenting the Annual Interracial Pig Roast.
Best Amer Short Stories 1972 (Roll of Honor)

Tee & Colette at 52nd anniversary

Christmas insomnia

Not even waiting for Santa.

Back to the BBC, I guess.

No plans except maybe meeting up with H's daughter. Neither of us into Xmas really.

I await Jan. 1 Rose Bowl. Go Ducks!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Coffee with a kindred soul

Met with TS of Round Bend Press, coffee and chat, always a treat to visit with a fellow dinosaur.

Beavers #10

At 10-0, women bball break top ten ... with weekend game at Tennessee. Nice to see it.

Monday, December 22, 2014


Retirement feels like
an all night poker game

and here I sit
with a pile of chips

and feeling good
after a night of winning

but I don't cash in
I keep playing

and hit a losing streak
fading chip by chip

and if this continues
I'll end up broke

squandering it all
because I keep playing

and this easily turning
victory into defeat.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

A rare morning

No crisis! H at her church opening, I'll shoot video later, so far, so good. I can't remember the last complete day without a crisis.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Bad weather

Another day filled with stress and H in crisis.

Toast with your eggs?

Top to bottom: olive ... Guinness cheddar ... sesame white



It is astounding
It is appalling
how much good energy
how much spiritual communication
how much human insight
how much art
how much truth
how much laughter and tears
will be lost
in the cataclysmic spasms
of our dying civilization

but we are not unique
we are historic copycats
following the lost peoples
before us
just as accomplished
just as civilized
whose overreach did them in
greedy and arrogant
the fatal flaws
and today only dusty
artifacts in museums
show us they were here

so it goes
in our vast universe
we rise and pass
and rise and pass again
in a cosmic dance
to a zero sum

(you have to provide
your own meaning)

Friday, December 19, 2014

Blue Xmas

H is a mess (except when she puts on a mask for friends), overwhelmed by the holidays, which have become a nightmare.

Guinness-Welsh Cheddar bread

Yet another first rate loaf ... on a roll.

Needed this. Stressful day otherwise, H a mess. So little progress.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Using biga

I'd say it's a winner, re texture and taste ...

Story on OSU historic victory yesterday

Test loaf

My first biga-driven loaf in the oven. I was worried because at rest it was so flat but oven spring sprung big time ... taste test tonight.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

OSU women rule

NC a major women's program ... Beavers come to town and win by 15, staying undefeated themselves. HUGE WIN!

12 pt halftime lead ...

...for visiting OSU women against #6 UNC. Found audio! Go Beavers!



I am not the man
who did the things I've done.
The author of an archive
of writing attributed to me
has already taken his leave.
What he left behind
impresses me so much
I'm at a loss for words.

This is the real stuff.
A stranger says the author
was grinning as he left,
and looked triumphant,
as if to say, Take that!
you legions of literati!
It is always the work itself
that gets the last word.


Looking good this morning. Now ... when to use it?

If I use it regularly, I can make it from 25% of normal recipe and change my baking rhythm little. Q of whether extra effort worth it.

Way behind on ukulele studies. Catch up time.


Undefeated OSU women's bball team takes on undefeated UNC at 3pm, both ranked. May have to follow by text, i.e. no TV or radio.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Ever onward

The no knead book that got me baking this time around claimed its method required no biga or other starter ... but I'm going to experiment in this direction anyway.

Baumholder 1961

This novella, a dark comedy, based on my Cold War experience in the Army Security Agency has worn very well ... just read the first chapter and am hooked. Very well crafted, if I say so myself. Gets higher on my Pride List every time I reconsider it. Available at Amazon.

Baking surprise

Quinoa-Soy bread, an experiment, is delicious and a keeper! We both love it.

Six keepers now.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


Quinoa soy in the oven ... Greek olive in the hopper ... beer bread next, using Guinness and a strong Welsh cheddar.

What an exciting Army-Navy game!

Saturday, December 13, 2014


As expected, Oregon's QB took the Heisman. He comes off as genuinely humble in an age of jock superegos.

Marcus Mariota

Notre Dame women bball team ...

Upset weather

Navy has won 12 in a row, big favorites and bowl bound. But I smell a big upset.

Pageantry. Rivalry. Ritual.

Army Navy, what's left of college football. Blackeyed peas simmering, first bowl at kickoff.

I can root for the Ducks Jan 1 despite Nike - because I dislike Florida State so much. Be fun. Football at the Rose Bowl, something else I grew up on.

Go Navy! Go Ducks! Go Bruins against KSU!

Friday, December 12, 2014

OK, time to shut up

Yet another great loaf, Buckwheat ... to go with blackeyed peas tomorrow .. well, I am on a roll, so I'll just assume it's "great" bread from now on, until I screw up.

Bread dough and slow rise, the ways to go.

Now more subtle things to improve ...

Dance of death

Republicans now can present the dying gasps of empire, rigidly on the wrong side of history. Even Catholic bishops now argue for Zero Carbon and the incompatibility of this with capitalism.

We are the problem, not the solution, but you'd never know it in the designer brew pubs and trendy green businesses. We're a clone of the Roman Empire, going down in an orgy of self-indulgence. The hippest corpses in history.

I'll likely pass before its ugliest moments. As I read history from the p of v of the losers, it's clear we were doomed from the moment we decided God was on our side. Nothing new, poets have been telling us this all along.

The inevitable gets boring to follow. I'd rather bake bread. This morning's loaf of buckwheat looks good.

Coming next: soy, quinoa ... beer cheese ... olive.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Hear, hear!

Why Math Might Be The Secret To School Success

We need both the sciences and the arts. Science trains the mind. Art trains the heart. Science without art is arrogant. Art without science is self-indulgent.

Our culture fails on both counts, hence our arrogance and self-indulgence.

Waiting for the storm

Late afternoon wind storm getting major hype ... We'll see.

Making buckwheat bread tomorrow to go with blackeyed peas.

Wonder if there are any game parties in town.

Another great loaf of bread!

I made good bread before but I really have reached a new level of excellence by using bread dough and now with the long, slow rise. This first try is outstanding!

Army Navy

My solitary highlight of the season, memories of dad, blackeyed peas ... Army hasn't won since 2001 and I doubt if this is the year. Go, Navy!

Is this the last shmaltzy ritual in my life? Appears to be.

Jivin Johnny Etheredge

A Christmas ritual is receiving a DVD of holiday music, a lot of it hard to find, from my favorite DJ. I've been a fan for almost half a century now, since discovering his Oldies show in Eugene as a graduate student. From fan to friend. He remains a true believer, and I remain a fan. This year's music just arrived. Always a special treat.

Right on, TS!

TS's rant here ... ... makes perfect sense to me.

Telling it like it is

33 years ago in My Dinner With Andre, Andre explained that we have entered a new Dark Ages. We who defend the arts have to hide out and protect what we have until these bad times pass.

However, this was said before Nature's rage entered the equation. Saving culture may be irrelevant.

What to do? Bake bread. Listen to Chris Connor and Gerry Mulligan.

So far, so good

Good oven rise on first slow rise loaf ... 8 hr rise on next, now into refrig.

Taste test at breakfast.

Heard from former student. Nice to be reminded I helped some folks. I sometimes forget.

I need to read these remarkable testimonials to remember:

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


C’est la plus prestigieuse école de théâtre française. Le Cours Florent, qui a vu passer depuis un demi-siècle les plus grands comédiens (Adjani, Auteuil, Gallienne, Podalydès…), a ouvert à la rentrée 2013 une antenne à Bruxelles. Un choix que la direction de l’établissement n’a pas fait au hasard…
Au 5 rue Charles Deemer dans le Nord de Bruxelles, un bâtiment en briques rouges attire le regard. Au fond d’une petite cour, une pancarte : « Cours Florent ». Depuis novembre 2013, la célèbre école de théâtre parisienne exerce son art au cœur de la capitale européenne.

????? ... another CD and coincidence, or ... ???

Beyond recipes

I bake bread the same way I make scrapple and cook in general: by the look and feel of things. I start with a recipe but it gets set aside as soon as I gain confidence. I still make minor mistakes baking bread but I'm really getting a tactile and visual sense of the process. The slow rise dough, for example, looks and feels great. Can't wait to use it.

With time on my hands, slow rise will become standard if quality says so.

Baking update

The 12 hr cold water rise is bubbly and active as I refrigerate it. Use it Friday, I suspect.

The potato rye had poorer oven spring than I like but texture and taste are good, so just a minor failure (if even that). Eager to see what difference a slow rise makes.

Next up, Buckwheat and flax seed.

Time to prepare for my Army-Navy game ritual.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014


Reading a lot ... I'm a beginner with much to learn, despite some killer breads. Going to try much slower first rise. From 2 to 8 or 10 hrs, after adjustments.


Feta spinach bread looks better than it tastes. Nothing extraordinary. Think it might be better as dinner rolls or gyro buns.

I'll add photo later.

Potato rye in the hopper ... then peasant bread bec I gave the recent loaf away. White and peasant (whole wheat rye) the staples to always have around.

And then buckwheat or quinoa. What fun, as the late Jimbo used to say.

Monday, December 8, 2014

A good moment

Baking bread, and maybe great bread again, sipping the best iced coffee in town, the west, the universe, this is as good as it gets for me lately. I'll take it.


Batch 2 (rye whole wheat) with KA flour looking good at rest, feta spinach in the hopper, next up Eastern European potato rye. My sanity! (what remains of it).

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Nike sucks

Even worse than the Nike Oregon ballet, I mean football, uniforms is the Nike Oregon designer basketball court. A designer football field can't be far behind. I hope they keep their greedy hands off track and field.

Hear ye, hear ye

Let it hereby be known
that I am a man who
(whatever else might be said)
baked a Great Loaf of Bread
on Pearl Harbor Day, 2014,
(in honor of my mother
whose brother's bones rest
on the ocean floor).


Buckwheat oatmeal bread

3 pillars of sanity: bread, refrigerated batch for next loaf, coffee press for iced coffee

Best loaf I ever made


Man, best bread I ever baked (just the basic white bread batch) ... better flour makes considerable difference, good bread becomes great bread.

Hype --> puke

Selection committee show full of the now habitual hype.

Ore v FSU, Ala v Ohio St

I hope Oregon wins big in the Rose Bowl. I dislike FSU and its chop far more than I dislike Nike.

But I'm more into women's college bball now ... and waiting for summer women's World Cup.

New dough

So far, great! Love the way it handles, its appearance, its good oven "spring rise" ... very impressive so far but bottom line is taste and texture, which I'll test later. What is the new dough?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Bread dough

Mixed first batch with higher quality flour ... looks "better" unless it's my imagination. Make first loaf tomorrow. Then mix "peasant bread", a rye, whole wheat dough. Then experiment, incl a feta spinach bread.


That's the background music of my life.

New tactic

H ending all out patient sessions. "Not doing any good." Impossible to say, actually, because she never follows their "home work" ... how can it not work if you don't even try it? A lot of money for nothing, I guess.

International exposure

For one of my short films:

Heirs (2008)
暂无海报 添加封面
类型:短片 / 喜剧地区:美国 IMDb号:tt1733474
导演:Charles Deemer编剧:Charles Deemer (story)
演员:John Donnelly / Christian Lagadec更多»

Friday, December 5, 2014

PSU women defeat Navy

Oregon blowing out Arizona, so I followed play by play text of the media-ignored PSU women, not sure for whom to root. 56-50, sloppy but engaging game.


Baking refinement

Switching to a higher quality of white flour, test the difference.

Other flours I use regularly now are whole wheat, rye, soy, buckwheat, quinoa. Always experimenting.

Navy at PSU

Women's bball, an unusual matchup tonight ... while the Pac 12 playoff is going on.

In one week, Army-Navy! and my very last continuing ritual, making a pot of blackeyed peas for the game. Been doing it for decades, can't recall why.

Go, Navy! says the Army vet. Childhood trumps.

Free book

For a few days ...

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Good Read August 4, 2013
By Lori Biever Launder
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Mr. Deemer captured the spirit of Los Angeles in the '50s perfectly.

I enjoy the noir-esque hard-boiled detective immensely. The protagonist isn't tall, dark and handsome and he uses his brains instead of his looks to get the information he needs. He spends a lot of time in the bad parts of town, trailing a variety of unsavory characters to solve his case.

This is a great read that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys Stuart Kaminsky, Raymond Chandler and the like.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014



Despite the delusion of forefathers
who defined our community
as a city on a hill;
despite our ambitious arrogance
to embrace a policy
of Manifest Destiny;
despite dismissive denial
of clear policies
of empire and genocide;
despite a national mythology
unsupported by facts;
despite our unfortunate history,
there are in this land
a large number of decent humans
who work with focus and dedication
to improve the lives of strangers
and bring health to
the fauna and flora
of our dying planet;
and they do so without fanfare
without fortune or fame
in a culture fueled by both;
and in this way
they give me pleasant distractions
from the many things
I don't want to think about.

// written in the waiting room ...


With a new element, recalibrated my oven temperature.

A new bread! Will become a regular: buckwheat with oatmeal.

H finally gets to talk to a shrink today. On a cycle of bad nights. We hang in, and that's about it.


I don't buy a lot of music. I've been listening to Chris Connor for over half a century. Who is better?

But now and again someone gets my attention. The new album by Annie Lennox of the Eurhythmics, Nostalgia, certainly does.

No histrionics. No gimmicks. Intelligent interpretations of standards. First rate!

Aint't it the truth

RBP appreciates Woody Allen and so do I.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

These times

I find it a tad depressing that my DVDs (digital films) are checked out of the public library with much greater frequency than my books are.

Still waiting for the bus to split this joint.

Doesn't surprise me

UO graduate teaching assistants go on strike (from @AP)

Beat history, the Joan Anderson letter

Monday, December 1, 2014

Hard ball

Began reading An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States (Dunbar-Ortiz), with this premise:

"US history, as well as inherited Indigenous trauma, cannot be understood without dealing with the genocide that the United States committed against Indigenous peoples."

This is the right place to start, and this may prove to be an essential history. CJ would love it!

Last chance

Naomi Kline's THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING nails the climate change issue - and impending disaster. Republicans in power may energize a grassroots rebellion. But not enough to matter, I sadly think.

50 years ago

Thanksgiving II

A guest on Thursday, we roasted our turkey yesterday.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

R.I.P. Kent Haruf

Novelisi, Plainsong. Eventide. Fine writer.

Quotation of the day

"Science is a drop, our ignorance is an ocean." --William James, 1895

Portland's glory days

Saturday, November 29, 2014

If it's broke, fix it ...

Spent morning replacing baking element in oven, no easy chore with as few tools as we have, but the real challenge was finding a replacement
part, finally located in Beaverton. A baker needs his oven!

H having a pretty bad weekend.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

The call

Just got the only holiday call I'll get, a moment before I called her, from L in LA, sister surrogate (former lover, very Greek ha ha), just a kid when we did the tradition in the 60s, daughter of a good friend (imagine the subsequent scandal, actually very short lived). My closest living friend today. 37 at her family gathering for the holiday!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Best Thanksgivings

For me , from mid 60s to mid 70s when five couples got together, most folk musicians, for much revelry, music, laughter, and gratitude. Nothing has come close since.

Successful experiment

On a whim, I added a quarter cup of grape nuts cereal to my last wheat bread batch. Great addition! Very tasty, esp toast.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Waiting room

2 appts today ... lots of gin rummy in the waiting room.

Saturday, November 22, 2014


Been thinking of a football team with 17 h.s. valedictorians on the roster - and going undefeated! Remarkable.

51 years ago

The overthrow of the U.S. government and a new era begins.

Friday, November 21, 2014

High school football

Jesuit at Tigard on radio, early playoffs. Exciting, I'm rooting for Jesuit because we go out for breakfast across the street.


J loses in triple OT, missed xtra pt, 42-41. Great game!

MIT's undefeated season

A football team with 17 high school valedictorians on the roster. Cal Tech never came close to this.

Sounding good

Man, both Keyport Rag and Old Greasy Coat sounding first rate on the Cordoba this mirning. Angeline the Baker not far behind ... and Kitchen Girl is getting there.

And I found the ultimate challenge: an arrangenent of One Note Samba that is breath taking. If I master this - and I will - I may play it on a street corner for quarters ha ha.

French press

I see TS has discovered the French press. I came to it late myself but now each night I grind beans and soak them in the refrig overnight for my iced coffee the next day. I've settled on Peet's House Blend as my favorite bean but I experiment now and again.

Myth of progress

In 1959 tuition at UC Berkeley was a few hundred dollars a term. A true public university then, and for decades earlier. I know, I was there for a term before joining the army. Today the UC is unaffordable. Another national shame in the dying spasms of empire.

Now it's going to get real fun with science deniers calling the shots in Congress.

Thursday, November 20, 2014


Quotation of the day

"We need writers who know the difference between production of a market commodity and production of art," Ursula K. Le Guin (from Round Bend Press).

Hear, hear!


Doctor took H off her memory drug ... hope for improvement re hallucinations.

Etc etc etc

Another terrible morning ... at least we see the doctor at 11.

R.I.P. Mike Nichols

Brilliant theatrical mind. He turned a stage play that I thought was over-rated ... Angels In America ... into a brilliant TV miniseries, now a dramatic favorite in his interpretation.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Dark and dreary

A very bad morning for H, very down, depressed, feeling hopeless and useless. Makes me appreciate my own cosmic sense of humor, coming out of Zen, but I don't know how to help her with this, so I offer the usual platitudes I would never say to myself. Ah, me.

Her art isn't saving her, as it has saved me. I think hers comes from a social place, not an existential one.

Doing my best...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


A good day continues ... H out for lunch, I am here cooking ... quinoa salad, vegie soup, turkey meatloaf ... jazz, Sketch ... brooding ... all good things.

Day Dreamer

Day Dreamer

Maybe there's still time
to wake each morning
in a small desert town
where I stay warm
and walk everywhere
and am greeted by
new acquaintances
getting used to seeing me
in the same place
at the same time
you can set your watch
by my routine

and everybody regards me
as a quiet pleasant old man
new to town but welcome
and no one has a hint
of the extraordinary activity
raging in my head

where fictional characters
are screaming for their stories
to be released

Nerd nation wins in OT!

Great game. I prefer women's bb, few dunks, less testosterone (though it increases every year: soon humans will be warriors or corporate managers, with a few artists hiding under rocks).


I've always been a morning man, writing here often on this theme. Until I entered the surrealistic stress of recent months. Lately I've dreaded mornings, knowing the day would require repeating much and new surprises would bring stress and grief. My only peace was in bed at night.

Strange then to feel good this morning! Even gained 3 lbs.

Part is the day's terror has become routine. And H is handling her own terror with less hysteria. Maybe this is progress.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Early delight

UConn women at Stanford tonight. Gotta root for underdog nerd nation!

Only one doc appt this week. H, who came to bed after midnight, still in bed. Rest is rest, whenever you get it. But she'll rise with guilt for sleeping in and nag on me for letting her. Ah, me.

Friday, November 14, 2014


A second person bought Varmints ... this is more atypical consumer behavior than my cynicism can take ha ha ...

Say what?

eine 45-minütige schwarze Komödie übersetzt und frei adaptiert von russischen Vladimir Koshkov Original in Italienisch, in einer Moskauer Radiostation Tag der amerikanischen Erstschlag, 3m1f, Charles Deemer (Dramatiker, Schriftsteller, Drehbuchautor, 1939-_) “.

This apparently refers to a one-act play I wrote many years ago using the pseudonym Vladimir Koshkov and posing as the translator (American audiences accepted more experimental work using this mask). Feeling like old home week with all this decades old work popping up here and there.

Thursday, November 13, 2014


Pdx, freezing rain
Tucson, 76 and sunny

2 obscure sales

Ah, how little it takes! Two of my more esotetic, obscure works sold at Amazon today: The Chekhov Hyperdrama, 3 essays in prep for tackling my Magnum Opus; and Varmints, a libretto in need of music. Hardly what a typical reader would pick up. Hooray for atypical readers!

 By the way, cheers to Terry Simons and Round Bend Press for publishing Varmints. Pretty special, that decision.