Man, I really appreciate our wonderful house, returning to it after a week on the road. Only two motels ... Boise and Baker City ... were as nice as right here, especially sitting out on the deck. I don't have the travel instincts any more that Harriet has ... I am hugely happy right here, doing my routine of baking, grilling, writing, brooding, and the rest. The idea to increae immediate cash flow was to finance travels together, largely for her benefit, but I also learned on this trip that it is stressful to travel with someone who loses something important several times a day. I reversed my idea about a reverse mortgage and now am against it, not for financial reasons but personal, psychological ones. Here i can escape. I can go to my office, go to the deck, go to the store ... on the road, I am stuck, which increases stress. So unless she has a reason and convinces me, it is off the table.
But we have to do something. So she agrees to try the "cash only" routine ... it will work IF she can hold to it. If she can remember it! Even yesterday, I let her go to the store alone, always stressful, she agreed to a specific list of things to buy, and nothing else, and came back spending 3x as much. It drives me crazy.
Well, I am looking forward to biscuits and grilling through the rest of the day, and checking in at my office, too, reading what I have on Titanic, and getting back into a routine of writing, and of course the music practive ... home stuff! It waa a very worthwhile trip and resulted in some progress regarding H family matters, and there were delightful moments along the way as well as stressful ones, but a good trip, all and all, and we spent a tad more than I had budgeted but what the hell. This house is insurance. As soon as we sell it, we are out of debt with a lot of money in our pocket as well. So it isn't the end of the world, but it could get out of hand pretty quickly. I now want to maximize our equity so we walk away with as much dough as possible after selling but I also want to live here as long as possible. As a matter of fact, I would like to die here. We may not be able to stay here that long. For health, mobility, reasons.
Well, one day at a time. I am thrilled to be home, thrilled to be back in my routine, and I hope I can figure something out to make life easier for Harriet but she has to do the work, too, she has to grow into accepting the new reality. Even yesterday she said she no longer had a memory problem just before going to the store and forgetting everything we had agreed to! Talk about denial.
Bitch bitch bitch ha ha. I'm shutting up.
