What I want to happen is the doctor in charge to explain and communicate to Harriet the reasons for and importance of her new limitations, that both are reversible if she improves, and what the program is to improve ... so we get out of the conspiracy theory realm and stay in the "these wonderful people" and "simple life" realms.
Ends up she was the treasurer of an arts organization and has the checkbook, which I haven't seen around, but then I didn't look through the clutter on the table, I just put it all in a box and put it in the basement, so I suspect it is there ... or in a file in the filing cabinet, which also is a chaotic mess. Organization is not her strong suit, at least not the kind of organization that makes things easy to find for others. When I show people her password book, they just shake their head ... it looks like a kid's doodle notebook after a decade of use. "All my passwords are in the password book." I'm sure that is true. Finding them is quite another matter.
I am a little nervous because I checked and the mortgage payment, always on the 5th, did not appear updated yesterday, but the 5th was a Sunday, maybe it is late posting ... it is supposed to be automatic. I'll check again today and if it is still screwed up tomorrow, I'll get on the phone. Finances are my greatest stress, still, not because we don't have the money but because I don't have access to it nor even to statements to know what the hell is happening. When I began to broach money with her on Sunday, I could see her starting to get upset so I changed the subject. I can ride it alone for a while if I can find out what the hell needs to be done ... but down the road, we definitely need to fix this to make it easier. The other way is fine, she already has access to my funds.
I did manage to fake the computer into sending me a new password -- shockingly, this is not that hard to do -- and looked at her retirement portfolio, which to my amateur eye looks in better shape than I was led to believe by her worrying. But she over worries about everything, which may be a contributor to her heart problem, and why she collapsed and not I. At any rate, after looking a net worth for 2012, 2013 and 2014, and how much is goes down in a year, I think she will be in her 90s before it becomes an issue, and that is spending at the current rate, which definitely could be reduced with a more simple life style. If I can get her to live the life of a Zen monk artist like me ha ha, she could have retirement funds into her 100s.
This will be an interesting time, to say the least ... how much of her old activity will she want to do after she gets better? A fantasy ... I have wanted to move into a warmer climate, like the southwest, for years, and on Sunday, on a day where the old Harriet would be complaining of the heat, she was cold ... amazing! If Portland ends up being too cold for her, as for me, maybe she will want to move ... but she would not want to leave her friends or church, so that would be a hard decision for her. But maybe that will change too ... they say to expect personality changes! She may be very different, a less social animal ... she may want to be an exotic dancer ... who the hell knows?
So it will be interesting indeed. First things first, and the next three to four months are the rehab program. Then, to quote the least sensitive nurse in the world, who said this to me after H was in a controlled coma for a day and a half and it was time to warm up the body, "Let's see if we have anything."
Jesus!
